


I Swear, I'll have to block your Number when I'm Around my Family

by browneyedgirl998



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 12:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17345591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/browneyedgirl998/pseuds/browneyedgirl998
Summary: This is my idea on what would happen when Simon woke up the morning after the Ferris Wheel ride with Blue/Bram





	I Swear, I'll have to block your Number when I'm Around my Family

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic in this general area, I usually write divergent stuff but I am so obsessed with Love Simon at the moment that I needed to write something and this is what I came up with. :)

(I'm using the plot of the movie but the almost everything else from the book) 

I woke up, not entirely sure why I was smiling, then it hits me, last night, the Ferris wheel, cute Bram with the soccer calves. 

I pick up my phone to see that I have a couple of texts from my friends, mostly congratulating me and Abby sending heart and kissing emojis. 

I smile to myself, I feel so lucky to have friends like these guys, accepting of my choices and the person I love. Bram. Abraham. Cute Bram with the soccer calves and coffee brown eyes. 

I’m on cloud nine when I walk downstairs and see that Nora has made some pancakes with berries and syrup. 

“Nora, this looks amazing,” I say, grabbing a plate and deciding that I might as well sit with my family for breakfast today. 

“You’re in a good mood, did something happen last night?” Mom asks and I try to tape down the grin that spreads across my whole face, but it’s pointless. 

“What happened!” screeches Nora with a huge smile, she keeps up with creek secrets so she knows exactly what happened. 

“I guess I have a boyfriend,” I say, shyly, and mom’s face turns into a grin while Dad gives me an encouraging smile. 

My phone buzzes and I look to see the caller ID has Bram’s name on it. Giddy and excited, I pick it up right away and hearing his voice makes me smile even more if that’s possible. 

I quickly walk to the living room and sit on the couch, it was really just a formality, I can see my parents sneaking glances at me and Nora can fully see everything. 

“Hey cutie,” he says and I can see him smirking in my mind's eye,

“Hey there, just a warning, my entire family is listening to this end of the conversation,” I say and Nora rolls her eyes while mom looks a little deflated like she wanted to hear Bram and I call each other pet names or something. 

“Good to know, I was about to say that your morning voice is kind of sexy.. oops,” he says, clearly meaning to push my buttons while I couldn’t respond in the same way. 

I was considering retreating to my room, but the look Nora gave me told me there’d be hell to pay. 

“Thanks for that, you are really going to be the death of me, I’m sure that was a total and complete accident,” I say rolling my eyes and I can see Mom trying to listen to what Bram is saying. 

“That’s no way to talk to ‘Cute Bram with the soccer calves’ if my memory is correct,” he says and I blush a deep red, last night, I might have admitted that I called him that in my mind every once in a while and it was going to his head. 

“And that’s no way to talk to the guy you’ve had a crush on since middle school, do you need me to say it again? Had. A. Crush. On. Since. Middle. School.” I tease and he groans while Nora looks like she might burst from holding back laughter. 

“I never should have told you that, you’re all full of yourself now,” he says with mock annoyance. 

“Full of myself, really? Mr. keeps bringing up the soccer calves comment,” I say, completely forgetting my parents are listening for a moment. 

“Oh, shut up, you know you’d be an emotional mess if it weren’t for me, Jacques, need I remind you of a certain someone who could not stop ima-” he says and I cut him off. 

“I swear, I'll have to block your number when I'm around my family, I have I have a younger sister, remember?” I say, trying to keep the smile off my face. 

“I have to go now, my mom is giving me weird looks, love you,” I say, before realizing I said that out loud so my family could hear it. 

“Love you too, can we see each other later?” he asks and I smile again. 

“Of course, bye, Blue,” I say, grinning like an idiot.

“Bye, Jacques,” he says and hangs up. As soon as I walk back into the living room, I get attacked by my families questions. 

“You love him?” 

“What’s his name?”

“How did you guys meet?” all of them ask at once and I try to answer them. 

“His name is Bram, I think you guys have met him once or twice, he’s on the soccer team with Nick,” I say and Dad nods approvingly. Apparently, any guy with some sort of sports knowledge is good for Dad.

“Second, we met online… kind of.” I say and I try to think of a good way to explain it. 

“Did you meet on Grindr?” asks dad excitedly and I groan, he still thinks that Grindr is like facebook. 

“I’m just going to tell you, Grindr is a dating app for gay men, and lots of people are on there for casual sex,” I say and Nora giggles while dad mumbles something incoherent. 

I continue,

“A couple months ago Bram, as an anonymous account named Blue, posted on creek secrets that he was a closeted gay kid at school.

“We started emailing back and forth, slowly getting closer together and last night we found out who we are in person, well he already knew who I was,” I say with a slight smirk. 

Mom looks like she’s about to explode with all the feels and I wonder if she’ll do something crazy, like paint the house rainbow pride colors. 

Nora gives me a half smirk because she knows what happened, I’m pretty sure there were a couple cell phones that were rolling at the end with Bram. 

Dammit, even thinking of him gives me this uncontrollable smile that refuses to go away. 

To my horror, Nora goes on her phone, pulls up a video taken by none other than Taylor freaking Metternich. 

The video shows Bram coming up to the Ferris wheel and telling me he was Blue then getting on with me. 

It shows us talking on the way up and then I snatch Nora’s phone before she can show them anything else. 

“And that’s all, we talked,” I say and Nora starts fighting me for her phone while I try to dodge her, keyword: try.

Nora grabs her phone back and I groan as she hits the play button and my parents watch my first kiss with a boy. 

I immediately text Bram,

Simon: Dear Bram, the Simon Spier you know and love is now dead, he died after his parents watched the video of last night and watched him making out with someone. While this person is amazing and unbelievably attractive with his soccer calves and coffee brown eyes, the embarrassment did kill Simon in the end. Please send lots of Oreos as condolences to the grieving family (and by lots, I mean, like, the whole shelf of double stuffed), yours truly, Simon Spier’s attorney. 

I hit the send button on the text and smile to myself. This reminds me of the rather open flirting that had happened between us during our emails. 

I looked up to see my parents looking at me with smiles, even though this was meant to comfort me, I sank into my chair. 

“Of course, the first time I kiss a guy and my parents watch a video of it,” I mumble and Nora giggles when I give her the death glare. 

“I’m off to Waffle House to see other people, bye” I wave as I walk out of the house and smelled the fresh air, it was still cold enough to justify wearing a jacket in Georgia, late January. 

The air smelled fresh and free, it reminded me of Bram, who was he kidding, everything reminded me of Bram. 

I got in my car and hear my phone go beep with a text. 

Bram: Please, send my condolences to the Speir family, they deserve all the Oreos. Unfortunately, I only have two packets with me at Waffle House, see you later, babe. :)

Simon: See you soon.


End file.
